Rugby Club

Rugby Club.

(Dedicated to my cousin, Jim Archibald.)

Jim played rugby as a boy,
Played well for his school,
Then he joined the local club,
Joined their talent pool.

He got married, had a kid;
He just kept on playing.
Others came; others went;
Big Jim, he was staying.

When he hit his forties,
He just carried on,
No longer in the first team,
His oldest friends moved on.

Arriving late, he overheard,
"What's happened to Old Jim?"
A sudden shock of horror:
That referred to him!

Now he serves behind the bar,
Says, "I remember when..."
But since that awful moment,
He's never played again.

**

Big Sister.

Laila's brand new brother,
A smashing little pal,
Weighs just over seven pounds,
And his name's Bilal.

Laila was once little,
Now she is quite large.
Bill is now the little one,
So Laila is in charage.

Although she's only two years old,
Her feet are on the ground.
She knows she can be kind to him,
And still boss him around.

**

Land of Fargon.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears shoes.
Everyone's a winner;
They don't ever lose.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears socks,
And if they are ladies,
Everyone wears frocks.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears pants.
Everyone is sensible;
No-one ever rants.

In the Land of Fargon,
All must wear a bra
To enforce equality
Upon dear papa.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears shirts.
Everyone's monogamous;
No-one ever flirts.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears coats.
It is a democracy;
Everybody votes.

In the Land of Fargon,
Everyone wears hats.
They are fond of animals,
Especially their cats.

In the Land of Fargon,
People wear good gear.
It is a Utopia,
But I prefer it here.

**

Politically Correct.

I have joined a well-known sect;
I am politically correct.

Our kind of person is the best, oh,
It says so in our personifesto.

We don't act like we live in a grotto;
"Personners maketh person" is our motto.

I am a person of great worth,
Personchester my place of birth.

Full of hills and lovely bays,
Isle of Person for holidays.

I make good sounds, commit no sin,
When I play the persondolin.

I'm not certain, I'm not sure
That what I'm saying isn't personure.